Need family advice!!! 10 points for best (serious) answer!?

ok, so this is how it goes and i know it is LONG so bear with me!!!


when i was 20 and had a big fight with my mum i got kicked out of home. we were really close when i was younger and i considered her my best friend but after the fight things changed. although our relationship slightly improved over the past 3 years i now no longer feel like im apart of the family. my younger sister is 19 and she always treat my mum like **** and last year she ended up MOVING out with her boyfriend who at the time she had been with for a month!!!


fast forward 7 months and now my sister is pregnant to the guy. anyway, they had a fight with his dad and got kicked out of the house and thats where i stepped in as the big sister to help take care of her and her soon to be family. 6 weeks after they moved in to my place my sister told me that they were moving back to mums place to live and raise the baby which i have no problem with.


my issue is that after all this time of being out of home my mum has come to see me maybe 10 times yet i have gone to see her hundreds of times and we only live 2 suburbs apart and she would never offer for me to come back home yet my sister gets a free pass to do as she pleases!!! i feel really frustrated and would like some real advice no how to cope with my feeling of being abandoned!Need family advice!!! 10 points for best (serious) answer!?
Ok this is a very touchy subject but I think I can help. My mom actually did abandon me and I tried so hard to have a relationship with her and then I realized that I wasn't the problem, she was. So I gave up. I made one last phone call when I turned 18 (right after I had my son) and told her that she had a grandson and that I was getting married but that I would no longer be contacting her. I was leaving the future of our relationship up to her. That was 9 years ago and she has never once tried to contact me. I have had the same number all these years and even though we move a lot (military) my sisters always have the address and will give it to her if she asked. My son has never met her and I have no regrets. It was all up to her and she made the decision. That is really the only thing that you can do and if she wants to be a part of your life than she will actually have to make the effort.Need family advice!!! 10 points for best (serious) answer!?
Maybe you didn't need an offer to come back home because you're not getting knocked up etc.? Sounds like you see her all the time so why assume you aren't welcome in their home now?
Seriously. The only way to fix this is sit down and TALK with her. Don't lie about any of your feelings. Let it just all flow through you...
I don't know if this helps so here it goes my husband is one of eight kids, he may of not had a best friend type relationship with his parents but he was very close to his siblings however the second to the youngest boy began to get into trouble a lot and my husbands mom stood up for him and more than one occasion, my husband never got the attention that his younger brother had. We came to the knowledge that the strong siblings are the ones that can survive while the one that have problems or issues get mommy's wing. It doesn't help to point it out because your question will never be answered, parents tend to show tough love with the siblings that can deal with it but then show a weaker side to the siblings that need the most help. I believe that your mom still has a special place for you in her heart and always will, First of all you need to look back at the fight you had and ask yourself what was said, what it was about and whether or not it is even an issue now, if you say you are slowly mending your relationship that's good, but now that your mom is taking your sister under her wing does not mean she is doing it because of anything you did I honestly believe that the weaker sibling is the one that needs your mom the most even if she doesn't see it that way. moms will always love their kids no matter what they do, and will be there when they fall.
You need to relax





About your mum not visiting, well that doesn't matter cos you live close and she counts on you to visit - that's how mum's are, they don't visit much, they expect you to visit them





About your sis getting asked to return to home, your mum probably thinks she doing you are favor - don't you want you independence? Why would you come back home anyway?





I think if you were now in a needy situation, I'm sure your mum would help you too, but thankfully you alright on your own, stop thinking negatively ok, Good luck :-)
the first answer is right, but if u don't feel right spilling the beans to her, then talk to your father or her spouse if he's not your dad. let her or him know how you feel and that you miss her. As far as i can tell, she still love you, a lot. She just knows you left and you are more independant than the rest and don't need her to watch over your shoulder so she gives you space. Meeting on your grounds (home) is (metaphoricly) treading on your personal way of living. She just doesn't know how to get back to the way things were. U left and are no longer as young or as child like as she wants to remember you. It's harder on the parents than it is on the children. We just don't know or see things throught their eyes cause we havn't gone through them ourselves.
The only thing you can do is sit down and talk to your mom. There are obviously still unresolved issues between you and your mom. The only one who you can really help you is her. Even if she denies it you still have real feelings and she is the only one who can help you.


Sit down and make a list of the things you want to say to her. Try to say it as kind and lovingly as you can, practice with a friend or your significant other. Family is so hard to deal with but ultimately it is really worth it. I hope this helps, if not try a family counselor. You can't change your family but you can change yourself or your reactions towards your family. Best of luck and my prayers go out to you.
Well, your sister gets to come back because she's pregnant. There is a little baby involved now and I'm sure your mom wouldn't feel very good about it if she knew your sister was running the streets with no place to go and pregnant. I would never go visit someone (even my mom) that many times without her coming to see me the same amount of times. I live in a different state from my mom and I know she'll never come and visit me,,, but when I lived just a block away from her, she never visited me, either so it didn't really matter. It bothers me, even now, but I have found happiness in the visitors that do come and see me, and I never offer for her to come over because I know she won't ,,, so whatever, her loss :)