How can I make this sentence come to life, being that its the opening of my story? How can I draw the reader in?? Suggestions examples welcomed. Thanks!
“You gave up on me” Peyton heard over and over again, his words still echoing throughout the room and in her head .Editing Advice???Tips?? Examples?? 10 pts best answer!!!?
The icy tone of his voice, as his accusation that Peyton herself had given up on him, echoed in the stillness of the room. Over and over again the stinging words he hurled at her bounced around in her mind, filling her with lonliness.Editing Advice???Tips?? Examples?? 10 pts best answer!!!?
It's hard to say without knowing a bit more. Obviously, it is about something fairly important, or she would not be so distressed. But did she stand him up for a date? Or did she find someone new while he was in the military? Or was he acusing her of havin no faith in him? And was she distressed because he was right and she feels guilty? Or because he misinterpreted her actions?
The words echoed. ';You gave up on me.'; Over and over again, Peyton heard them in her head until it seemed they filled the air. But, except for her breathing, the shabby room was dead silent.
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