Some outside advice please :( 10pts for best!!?

my boyfriend and i have been togther 2 years, and a year into the relationship i got so drunk i kissed someone else at a party, i dont remember but my boyfriend saw. it really shook us and it was wrong, i know im an idiot i dont need you to tell me :( we decided to make things work after, i didnt force him cause i felt terrible but he wanted to try again. i didnt go on a holiday my friends and i were planning because i knew he wouldnt trust me, and almost always if i go out we go out together. he hates me when im drunk i get a state, and he always wants constant txts whenever i go out and cant go to sleep until im home, and worries if i dont phone/text in an hour (sometimes cant hear phone, no battery) and he walks th streets thinking something has happened to me. the thing is friends from uni asked me on a night out this week and i'd like to go, but he says h cant take it. he wants me to choose him, or going out with my friends. i want both but he says if i go out we are finished. i dont want to go the whole relationship never seeing my friends? but i know the whole thing was my fault from the start. i dont want to lose him but i dont want to lose my friends. i have sacrificed big things to try to mak things better but i feel nothing can change anything, any advice would be helpful, and i know i did wrong i cant fel any worse than i already do :(


oh he is older than me, im 18 hes 23Some outside advice please :( 10pts for best!!?
Right, this is obviously very upsetting for you yes. I went through something highly similar to this but I told my man I cheated.


Personally I chose my friends over him. My friends are with me for a lot longer than what a man would be.


Yes we need men and yes it hurts when we lose them but are they really worth it all? If you lose him, then you would be heart broken yes? But to leave your friends you'd only be left with your boyfriend.


I'm not saying this is what would happen but men can get bored and don't always stick to monogamy themselves. So if you stayed with him and he then became monogamous. What would you be left with if he left you? Nothing.


There is no easy way to put it.


But explain to him, explain you don't want to lose either.


If you lost your friends, there is the chance of you and him not working out.


But if you left him then you don't know what you would do.





Everybody can learn to forgive. But they can't always forget.


Life's too short for you to just be with one person with no friends sweetie. A girl needs her friends as well as her man. And he should understand how bad you feel. You cancelled a holiday. You haven't cheated since. He needs to understand that he has to learn to trust you and stop living in fear of something that most likely will never happen again because of how you feel about it.





I hope I helped.


Good luck. xSome outside advice please :( 10pts for best!!?
This is what I mean by the trust in a relationship is gone after someone has cheated (referring to me answering past questions on Y!A). I know you feel guilty and you seem like someone who wouldn't do it again. Just a little tip- know your limits on alcohol for future references.





To be honest, I don't think the relationship can go any further. You don't deserve to be tied down to not seeing your friends just because of the cheating incident. You can find another boyfriend. He is the one with the problem right now. Although I don't fully blame him for not trusting you, he should have realised (you too) that this is not a happy stable relationship. You can find someone else, and so can he. Start again fresh, that is my best advice.
You messed up, but you already know that. He made the choice to stick by you and try to work it out. That's a good sign, but now he has to follow through! Explain to him that it is unrealistic for you never to hang out with your friends again. Let him know that the relationship is important to you, but if it's going to work he has to find trust in you again. Go out with your friends this week. Maybe it would make him feel better if you promised not to get drunk this time?