I need advice. I am having best friend trouble..?

I have had two best friends for 4 years and slowly but surely we have drifted apart. \What with going to different Universities and going through more mature experiences such as loss of parent, alcoholism and just hardships of life, I personally feel like we are only hanging out because we feel obligated to do so, not because we want to. I personally dont have fun and i can tell that neither do they. We have become such different people, but whenever we try to deal with the distance and differences, they just act like nothing is wrong and their is always this akwardness between us. We each have made friends at our schools but then we hold it against eachother as if neither of us can have friends other than eachother. To me this friendship has become one i dont want to be a part of because i feel like there is no friendship, just three people feeling forced to be with eachother of the commitment of being ';best friends';. I have been avoiding/ignoring them for a month now just keeping as minimal contact with them, and not just for the issues between us, but because of my own life responsibilities like work, internship and school, not counting my family issues...


I do also feel like they no longer understand me because i told one of them my brother was in a terrible accident and he needed me and she dares ask me if i want to go to Hurricane Harbor and a baby Shower as if what i said was meaningless.





What i am asking is whether is right for me to just let it go and stop trying to hold on to this friendship. I do care about them, but just because we have history i dont think i should put up with this...sometimes i feel guilty because they say im the instigator trying to ruin this friendship but im living in the real world..i want to study for the GRE while they want to party....





HELP please...what should i do??? Anyone has lost a best friend...how do you deal with it? How do i tell them i dont want to be friends or i want space?I need advice. I am having best friend trouble..?
I was in your shoes not too long ago. I just stopped making my best friend a priority. You don't have to say anything. But if they ask what's going on... Then be frank.





I've noticed some people don't grow up bc they don't know what they want. Instead they hold on too much to the past. Bc change can be quite frightening.





Don't feel obligated to justify yourself. To me, you sound very focus %26amp; know what you want. That's awsesome.





Growing up has quite a few responsibilities w/it. Prioritizing now will determine how you'll end up later in life.I need advice. I am having best friend trouble..?
I know exactly how u feel. Honestly what I did wat txt them and slowly they came down 2 a minimum and we just stopped contacting all 2gether. But its hard 2 let go! Also wat u culd do is tell them wat u just said and how u feel (but that's the hard choice) and c their reactions











Good luck! :)
tell them basically you didn't appreciate the way they did that when u told them about your brother and you just dint feel like friends anymore so u feel like u should go ur separate ways or ask them ';do you guys feel like ur forced to be my friend because we had history because this is the future and things changed and i prefer to keep moving on bye';
HEY THERE ,


i just graduated from high school, i have 3 best friends from school.. we all go to different universities , ones in the same state , ones in another state and im in another country ..





what you shared in was not just another friendship ok... yes distance does make you drift apart but keep in touch with your friends , call them up once in a way even if its just once a month . believe me the next time you see them itll feel the same all over again.. yes you may drift away , that's life make new friends . that's what happend with us though we have our own circle of friends still and our own separate lives , just stay in touch once in a while...





because when you are having problems they are the first ones you would turn to as there will be no one who knows you as well as them
I have 2 best friends, one for 11 years and another for 6 years. We all love and care much for each other and we all have grown very much apart in the last few years, but that doesn't mean that you stop being friends..it just means you all have to learn how to deal with the fact that you are all growing up and things change...my 2 BFF's both have fiancee's and kids now, I live in Dallas, one in Baton Rouge and another in New Orleans, we don't get to see each other as much as we use to, or even talk much but we make time, send a card, send an email or txt. Hell, hurricaine Katrina and living in 2 different states couldn't keep me from my girls!





Just talk to them and be honest, tell em that you feel like you're losing them and thats not what you want, get interested in each other again..hope this helps!
This is an interesting situation. I once had a friend that... changed over time, it went to the point where i just had to tell him. Hey, dude, i can't do this anymore, its just not working. In your case I wouldn't avoid them any longer, as that will only make them think you even more of an instigator. Confront them. Tell them that if they want to go party, they can, but I want to make sure my future is settled. I can't keep chasing you around, things have changed. etc etc... Do what you think is best, But don't force yourself to hold onto something that just can't be possible anymore.
I've had a problem similiar to this.





I think it's okay to allow your friendship to drift apart, after all most childhood friendships rarely survive the adult world, because not only do some people deal with the responsibilities better but personalities change and reality can get in the way.





You should probably find a way to tell them that you don't think you can hang out or w/e much any more and that your moving on. If it's really that awkward, they'll probably agree on some level.